Ramblings!

Sadly i have nothing new to add to my blog as yet.
Things have unfortunately been slow.

So instead of my usual sub slut entry, instead i will add an entry on "why i feel i need a DOM in my life".

WHY I FEEL I NEED A DOM IN MY LIFE.
-I want to feel owned. Controlled and like i belong to someone.
I want to have hurdles, tasks and a sense of objectification in my everyday life style, i am not in the position for 24/7 complete BDSM lifestyle. but if things were not as they are that is the lifestyle i would wish to live.
-I want rules.
I find that rules are a reminder that i am not my own person, that in fact i am someone else s. rules are limitations they are a lesson, rules are put down to teach. as is discipline and punishment.
-I want limitations.
Limitations i find are a key point in getting used to ones place in a BDSM relationship. i had an experience once where allot was limited. speaking was limited i was not to speak directly to a waitress or any staff in a restaurant i was taken to my eye contact was limited my eating was limited due to being used. my clothing was chosen and limited.
i loved this
-I want punishment.
it is not always fun but it is required. i learn from this and i also feel owned and objectified both feelings i want love and need in my life.
-I want discipline.
discipline is not always punishment but a form of teaching a lesson you could say.

I want a DOM in my life because i want someone to give myself too. someone to please and impress. someone to keep me grounded and share my experiences with.
my DOM is a very affectionate DOM. when i tell other subs how i am treated they say its unusual.
there not used to things being so gentle and free.

Im scared to be alone. and by that i dont mean by being single. more so by being abandoned. being abandoned is something i have experienced more times then i should have. my DOM has a connection with me where i have had to let down all walls and let HIM in. i dodnt think id do that again and i dont want to have to learn to be who i was again.
i need my DOM because i cant breath without HIM. things arent as fun or realistic without HIM. and also because HE is the only MAN in my world that can have the softest most loving hands and at the same time the heaviest and DOMINATING hands. thats a big thing for me but probably also something only i can understand.